MYTHS, FALLACIES AND MOST THERAPISTS WITHOUT A CLUE

Post No. 56

So far we have covered many of the variations found in the heterosexual portion of the spectrum — and we will continue to add to that section of the rainbow as long as that amazing mind of ours seeks to blend, to meld from that variation of color that we might be in to an adjoining one — think 100% fetishist becoming only, say, 20% while other interests, such as fashion, takes over as the primary motivator. Among cross dressers approximately, 15%  is made up of perhaps 10% bisexual and 5 percent homosexual. Delving deeper we find that, even though the numbers are considerably smaller, there are at least as many variations in this group as there are in the larger hetero community.

I asked myself, “How come? Why would someone attracted partially or solely to the same sex wish to dress as a member of the opposite one? One of the great Myths is repeated time and time again when a wife, SO or family member catches you en femme —- first words out of their mouths are, “Are You Gay”. So now lets look at that, probably, 15% that really are either Bi or gay.154600

In an attempt to be orderly we’ll use part of Dr, Harry Benjamin’s Sexual Orientation Scale as the outline. Normally, in my opinion, though his work offers a valuable guide I get a feeling that he must have studied lab rats in formulating conclusions without ever having personally met a human CD.

Starting at one end or, as Benjamin indicates: “Kinsey Scale 6, and often quoted by a media looking for headlines, are those “born a girl in a boy’s body”.  As mentioned before the lucky ones are financially assisted by supportive parents to transition at an early age but that, sadly, isn’t the norm. With probably antagonistic parents, unsympathetic family and church and peers that consider you a freak of some kind — naturally the reaction is to hide, hide your confusion, your shame, your desire to be with the girls, to dress like them, act like them and BE one of them. Not your fault, it was the hand you were dealt at birth. — immaterial whether due to chromosomes, .hormones, genetics or whatever. Sometimes bi-sexual but usually homosexual in interest. Before that urgent conversion operation can be financially attained they seek for partial relief estrogen medication, psychological guidance or psychotherapy for symptomatic relief only. While pre-op they may live, work and dress as a woman.  This scale 6 group in actuality are only to be considered as cross dressers for the short term, that is until surgical transition takes place for thereafter they are to be considered as women and not CDs. Unfortunately for reasons of family, work or other circumstances some will never be able to undergo surgical transition though they have undertaken hormone and other regimens. So, though disputed by some, this small group might be considered cross dressers even though they are mentally and mostly physically the woman they portray.  We know that CDing is a minor motivator for them and the seriousness of their plight should not be easily dismissed for unless they are able to physically transition suicide or self-mutilation are on the table.

Going down that Kinsey Scale as described by Dr. Benjamin the next groups (4 and 5) find CDing provides joy to their feminine side. Conversion surgery is not a must for these groups and  estrogen medication often becomes their main option.. There are some in this group who have to settle for hormone therapy usually for the reasons of health issues or lack of finances. A snapshot would show a person who rejects psychotherapy and psychological guidance, and may have lived and worked as a woman. A few have been married by using fantasies in intercourse — fantasies of being female and having relations with a male. Noted a total psycho-sexual inversion —- intense  gender discomfort. Many in this group do finally have surgery; however it becomes more complicated in that group 4:occupants usually have dual personalities, waver towards transition, require assist from hormones and bi-sexuality —  passive homosexuality — is common among them. Further, at this level surgery is quite frequently rejected because of supportive loved ones, work-place conditions or even religious beliefs .Nevertheless , scale levels 4 to 6 personalities usually believe, with varying intensity, that they are indeed living in the wrong body.

As a result of these findings the wording on my book cover, as well as specific writings within its covers have been modified to welcome the homosexuals residing within our CD community. — now that I better understand why a gay person might also be a CD.

The scales 1 through 3 include the majority heterosexual CDs. Who and what they are definitely differs, in my opinion from Dr. Benjamin’s . Not my intention to declare war on the Benjamin precepts as our purpose was to provide a clue as to why some non-hetero cross dressers are what they are — CDs!

However, though not the subject of this particular post , I will briefly describe the first three Benjamin scales for the curious:     In scale one are the newbees, those in the discovery phase at age 4 or 40, and that trigger flips on through contact with a mother’s or sister’s clothing. Gender feelings are masculine and they get the occasional kick out of dressing. Then the next two scales pretty much follow what we have previously covered —- the fetish phase (That may never leave, for some.); Purging and relapse; underdressing  and the “occasional” becomes more frequent; a female name assigned by spouse, GF or themselves (Actually healthy in a marriage as it is easier for a partner who has just discovered this CD thing to compartmentalize their hubby’s inclinations.) and a supportive family to that person in the household who will continue to be the bread-winner and father to his children though he just might be wearing a dress at home and on vacation. The preponderance of cross dressers are in these first three scales and they are heterosexuals.

Before closing Post #56 I would not want the Bi-sexuals among us to feel that we deliberately skimmed over your situation in scales 4 through 6. Though Benjamin and others believe that “BI” is merely “passive homosexuality” and others with that inclination use other labels like “gender-fluid” and similar as it makes them feel more comfortable — more study is required before we can definitively understand at what point does one assume that label. Time and time again we read of the supposed hetero CD fantasizing of making love to another male even if  it is another CD (Still has a penis.) who sexually arouses them — they believe, understandably, that it will make them the complete woman. A hetero may fantasize but will never act on it so at what point did one become bi? Logically the answer should be that you were born that way. Would like to get to the crux of this contentious subject.

 

 

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