MYTHS, FALLACIES AND MOST THERAPISTS WITHOUT A CLUE

(In drag, again) Post # 53

121935

Time out to revisit the Bible. Passages from the Scriptures,from Psalms along with ancient Talmudic teachings were often quoted in order to attempt to support the prevailing belief that cross dressing was a sin. In recent generations scholars came along to say, “Whoa, hold the boat” there isn’t anything specific in the Scriptures that weren’t merely societal  or concerns of a sanitary nature warning the people of hazards to be avoided. Such admonitions may have been wise two thousand years ago based on the living conditions of the time but are no longer valid.Further,interpretations by scholars over a very long span, thousand of years, are just that — conceptions of the thoughts of others. With this in mind, this writer was rather surprised to find another Old Testament offering — surprised that I hadn’t seen it sooner: From 1.Samuel 16:7: “For the Lord sees not as man sees; man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”. Certainly apropos not only regarding cross dressing but on the whole subject of not judging a book by its cover and the like. Now back to the subject at hand.

The external genitalia creates the greatest challenge to those CDs who wish to appear as women (Note: I did not say “to be” women as the distinction treads a fine line for the CDs who have no desire to transition, and have no interest in going in that direction.) It is not a problem when one is wearing a billowing skirt or similar loose-fitting clothes but does result in an unsightly bulge when one is sporting a tight jean, pencil skirt, form-fitting dress or some bathing suits styles.

Probably half of CDs avoid  “tucking” by pressing the genitalia onto the belly or pushing “the Boys” between the legs and keeping them in place by one or more tight panties or girdles. This satisfactory option is taken because there is less time and difficulty involved or simply not knowing what else to do. Another alternative found is to avoid tight fitting clothes altogether — totally unacceptable to the many that get a rush from the feel and the smooth look down there..

I had known of “gaffes” — a Bikini type garment designed to hiding the “boys” with a reduced bulge, but had never heard of “tucking” until the advent of the Internet. Much to my surprise most CDs in recent generations have practiced some method of tucking while still in their teens and do find it very comfortable — I suppose after getting used to it and perfecting their art. Quick to say that this writer has no idea whether the newer tucking methods are now more popular than the gaffe approach.

The idea is to slip the two gonads or testes beneath the pelvic bone into the abdominal cavity while pushing the penis down between the legs. The remaining flesh from the testicles are then folded on top of the tucked penis thereby hiding the genitalia. Numerous CDs follow this procedure to this point but then keep their handy work in place by the use of tight fitting undergarments or Spandex. This method can work provided physical activity is kept at a minimum and undergarments are not removed (obviously).

The use of tape — various types are utilized from duct to surgical — each one with advantages and some negative results — is found to be far more lasting and allow for urination without need for removal. CDs who are into jogging, swimming and other sports find this method to be the safest, though I can’t vouch that it’s the most comfortable. “Safe” would mean not coming out of the ocean in a Bikini bathing suit with something dangling for all to see. There are a number of taping techniques used but basically the general idea is to create a T, running tape along the top of the penis and then securing it with several cross tapes on the buttocks short of the anal cavity. The caveat, needless to say, is that, first, both the genitalia and buttock area must be free of hair — another choir especially if there isn’t a supportive partner to help shave.

Next — what is the composition of the not-heterosexual portion of the spectrum?

 

 

MYTHS,FALLACIES AND MOST THERAPISTS WITHOUT A CLUE

(The writer in drab.) Post No.52

When considering presenting in public a CD often faces physical hurdles. The most obvious one is stature. The average CD is not any more diminutive than in the rest of the population despite perceptions to the contrary. Certainly there are some where genetics and chromosomes have dictated their lot in life to the point where these people are teased and bullied as children but few of these will remain on a heterosexual path — not of their choosing. But most will have the same height and weight characteristics as the general public. And with that said, there will be a group almost six feet and some taller with a weight of 175 to 250 — not uncommon. Must say, from the writer’s observation, that CDs take better care of their bodies than the general public by far — same can be said of their gay brothers. Faced with a height of, say, six foot two, a CD will make every effort to trim weight to, perhaps, an acceptable 175 with a waist from 32 to 36 — much better than most in the GG population according to the stats. It’s also true that there are many genetic females in this taller range who carry themselves very well and present as very feminine in dress and makeup. They have enough confidence in themselves to even add heels to bring their height to a point that they stand out. The tall CD, once accepting that there are also tall girls will usually wear flats and wear clothing that doesn’t accentuate broad shoulders and a large frame. The use of colors, type of clothing, layering, belts and so on can divert attention from a large frame. As an aside, big men, in general, tend to slouch while the bearing of their female counterparts is usually excellent and allays any doubt of gender by any viewer..Nevertheless it does present another challenge. Excessive hair is a problem that also must be overcome by laser, wax, chemicals or old fashion razor. Strong masculine facial characteristics is another hurdle. Forehead and distance from upper lip to nose can be giveaways. While makeup, especially layering, can help along with proper hair styles to cover the obvious — it is still a problem.. However most CDs will settle for just passing or not being read too often — easier to do in a mobile situation such as walking in mall or store, Then there are those who, with no desire to transition, will still strive to become as feminine looking as possible while en femme. And yet, even in this group, they are usually as happy in their male persona both in their community, with their family and in the bedroom. Again, there are always the exceptions who are entitled to their path as much as anyone else, that is, these CDs, other than transsexuals, wish to live their female identity everywhere — more than, say, fifty percent — except at the work place. Nevertheless, whether dressing on occasion, half of the time or more often, a sexual snapshot would likely indicate that the majority are hetero with a slice of BI.

In the last post we mentioned a major obstacle faced — the millions dead set against inroads by anyone considered to be deviant or “different”. Other than the obvious bigots, regardless of the reasons that dictate their actions, there is the matter of population distribution. Growing up in a small town where most of their neighbors knew them from childhood, from the PTA or Little League, the challenge of either outing or being outed is daunting. Discovery would likely cost them friends, position on a city council, or their jobs — in many cases ostracized from the community. Physical harm and even death have been reported in the media from coast to coast and north to south. Not to say that there hasn’t been supportive towns — one Oregon city elected a CD mayor. A frequent solution has been to pull up stakes — easier to do without a family — and move to a larger city and a new life. Here they will find resources never possible to find in rural areas. In addition to like-minded people becoming neighbors and friends, there is nobody who knew them as a youth, they’re free to be themselves— that is, to enjoy what level of dressing is practical without having to worry about the acceptance factor.

Whether the CD tries to pass completely or even most of the time — assuming that something very odd didn’t catch one’s attention enough to take a second look — most CDs make every effort to blend.. For example: Most will wear jeans/pants and tank top or skirt and blouse depending upon the part of the country, the time of day and the average economic level of the shopper. True that CDs take more time to mix and match style and color than their GG sisters — resulting in them usually being better dressed but still blending in. Same thing applies to shopping at mall or going to a restaurant or movies. Actually there are two schools of thought in making a blending decision. One group says to wear some makeup, appropriate but not too much jewelry, mid-height heels rather than flats and similar fashion decisions so that, if a GG notices, they see a woman nicely dressed whether for shopping or the office. The other school believes to dress down to GGs who make the least effort, don’t have the time, to being presentable — and there are lots of GGs fitting this description.   Dressing one’s age requires the same consideration as ought be shown by women in general — but some do not. A sixty-year-old CD shopping for produce in a grocery store should not be wearing five-inch heels, a halter showing skin below and a mini skirt, while a nineteen year-old CD could pull it off. Further — since a CD can make this decision and a GG can’t — a 40-D bra (with padding if necessary) provides a proper look for a six-foot body weighing 180 pounds but would be inappropriate for a CD with a slender build.

Though the majority of CDs strive to blend in with the GGs around them it’s not that simple.. Judge how a woman should appear: do they walk from waist down, with legs close, with a wiggle? How do their arms and head move? Their facial expressions such as making eye contact with passer-byes? But here’s the rub — look around at a dozen women and you’ll see twelve different body movements. The advice is to take your pick and hang on for the ride.

 

MYTHS, FALLACIES AND MOST THERAPISTS WITHOUT A CLUE

 

141716(New hairdo-my own too) Post No. 51
For those CDs who never leave the sanctuary of their homes one of the deterrents might very well be the question of “passing”. Is there a specific high bar of what “passing” needs to be or does one need to pass at all? Many take the view that “society” will never accept CDs unless they dress, act and talk as close to emulating the opposite sex as possible. That being a CD should in every way be synonymous with blending whether shopping or at an opera. The image of Uncle Milty Berle’s caricatures or those personalities on past Jerry Springer TV shows have lingered too long as the personifications of cross dressing and this must be changed! That when one goes out they represent the entire CD community and the impressions given are vital towards progress in understanding.

  At the other far end of the spectrum are those who strongly believe that men’s and women’s  fashions will someday be identical, as even today London and Paris designers are offering lace tank tops and skirts for male consumption.  Accurately those willing to wear androgynous clothing are not necessarily “cross dressers” in the sense that the typical ingrained inclinations from childhood are not found here. Fashion aside,  there are males who are content in public scrutiny wearing a dress or skirt while sporting a beard and sans wig. Their position is that there should not be restrictions on how we dress — it’s just clothes. They also take the position that most CDs will never be able to pass so, since we are not trying to fool anyone, why can’t we dress as we wish? Going past this view point we find many more shades. Some don’t care for wigs or makeup and find contentment in the softness of fabric and in the comfort. To confuse this issue there are GGs who grew up as tomboys — don’t like frilly clothes or makeup but are very feminine in every other way.They often lived in rural settings and strongly influenced by their fathers. Why can’t we emulate this group reasons these CDs? True, however, that these middle groups of CDs don’t expect acceptance when they go out, do expect to be noticed and willing to take whatever heat encountered. Recently a school teacher of math and physics was featured on the Internet and in newspapers for having worn a skirt while teaching for decades. Now in his sixties he is well respected in his community and by his family. So, although there are CDs who go into the public arena only partially dressed for reasons just explained, the CD who will never venture out believes that if they were to go out they must adhere to the goals set by one end of this group — to dress as close to the female persona as they possibly can — a bar set too high to be even attempted, at least not in public. These CDs are usually sincere in their beliefs that they are content to remain at home.  They may live alone or have a wife/girlfriend who is privy to their way of dressing. A survey isn’t required to believe that the majority of these wives and GFs, though they may be very supportive in every other way, are very satisfied that their SOs remain at home.

   Now let’s examine the restraints, perceived or otherwise, by those who might leave their homes provided all conditions were close to acceptable. Worries about being seen by family, friends or business associates is a big concern by those who live alone and may still be the deciding factor even with a supportive wife or GF. In fact often the hubby’s fears of what public disclosure might mean in their community or church becomes the most important ingredient in a go or no go decision. That fear to their own image is often  more important to them than what it means to their spouse or BF.To those contemplating going “out” a major consideration is usually the demographics. In the U.S. and abroad there are many very conservative areas and workplaces that have difficult environments to overcome. There are over five million members of just two organizations, Focus on the Family and the American Family Association whose opposition to any liberties for homosexuals and the transgendered are well known. Add to such groups the religious and political persuasions that are equally against any so-called gender deviance and it can make the risk much greater when venturing into areas where  these citizens live, work, and worship. Then there are avocations historically considered “mano”.. Only recently in sports has there been  female race car drivers or racehorse jockeys. The construction and mining industries now have female engineers, but again, the workers are mostly men. This writer knows for a fact that there are miners, carpenters and truckdrivers, for example, that underdress at work but when it comes to be completely en femme there that’s another matter.. Was going to add airline pilots but in the 21st century, thanks to the military allowing female fighter plane pilots, there are now airlines also hiring GG pilots.

   In the next post we will consider physical attributes that make  the thought of going “out” even more problematic..